If kisses were snowflakes, I would send you a blizzard :)

Wind blows and my hair is riding waves in the rainy air,
The Rain droplets drizzle and  my eyelids twitch,
I look through the beaming sun but the sun stares at the flowers,
Flowers shining in the morning glory, admire the butterflies on it,
The butterflies...not the one on that flower but those that i feel in my stomach :)

Hmm, all this because hub looks at me this morning all dressed in white (that's his favorite color) carrying a white umbrella, gives me a good second glance, clicks a picture and says "Ahem, Girl in white and blue! Chan Distes" (you look beautiful in Marathi). This man has an effect on me, damn!

Really? That's all it takes for me to feel those butterflies when it comes to you Mandy?

In Love today,
Ciao!

#Santa Claus#Reindeers#Gift-Opening#Kids Stuff#

Not a usual December for sure! Full of doctors, medicines, treatments and stress! But all is good now and there is a sudden realization that its already 24th of December and i have been caught up so badly that i haven't even noticed my favorite month pass by so fast...so incredibly fast. The least i can do is put a post quickly on this beautiful cloudy Xmas eve :)

Many friends have either left or are leaving on a holiday today, traveling to mesmerizing locations. We would have been roaming somewhere around the world if it was not for Ruhaan. Howeverrrr, this year its all together a different joy to plan a trip to the nearest mall to buy Xmas gifts for Rui, dress him in Xmas sleep suit tonight, open presents tomorrow morning and learn this new side of Xmas with #Santa Claus#Reindeers#Gift-opening#kids stuff# and most wonderful of all, experience the Family bonding over this holiday season-our small little family of three! Last year this time i was desperate to give birth @ 8 months of pregnancy and get this little bub out of my tummy. Just 9 months after his birth i see him walking on his 2 little feet & exploring the world. "A proud and amazed mum" !!!

Let me get going now, i need to buy fresh bakery (that's my another xmas tradition-lots of calories :P) and Rui's present :)

A very merry Christmas all !! Take it easy and chill :) Jingle bell Jingle bell, na na na naaaaa....

"Play"

One look out of that window and the afternoon looks dull (in a good way), slow and holidayish! My white Christmas tree (a small one-12 inches may be) sparkling with blue ornaments is already out on the desk. It almost looks like a garden here, xmas tree, artificial flowers, a few real ones from my bday last week and 2 vases full of yellow and lavender orchids. Arghh! but a garden with papers, a phone and laptop :( I am smelling the holiday mood and that calls for a trip to the library to pick a Christmas novel. That's like a ritual every year! the rains as usual are making everything look misty, hazy, cloudy and this cold breeze is what i wait for, all year long.

Have been trying to cut down on coffee and tea recently but this certainly is the worst time to start. I should have let December pass by :( How to catch the essence of life without a hot coffee mug in the hand letting the steam & aroma warm your face? I wish we had a digital memory to capture moments, something that will let you be in that moment again. Life would have been sorted. Feel like drinking coffee? Click "play" and be in the moment :))

Ohhh, most importantly, i would record the whole bedtime routine that i do for Ruhaan, that is the most lovely time of the day when i smell the baby soap, baby powder and feel the soft touch of his chubby cheeks while he watches twinkle twinkle little stars and drinks his milk. And I? watch him, simply watch, just watch you know...and capture him in my eyes as much as i can! Aww, these tears, i can't see at the screen anymore, its even more misty...

Ciao!

Almost !!!

An empty auditorium, hundreds of chairs steady and waiting, a quiet stage, the spotlights pointing random directions, the wings on both sides watching each other! It  gives me goosebumps by just imagining the sight of an empty theater. I, right now feel as if i am standing in the middle of this place and peacefully looking at a quiet stage. I may just run up and start performing until i am bone-tired.

Being on stage is world's greatest joy for me, that exhilaration, that zeal is something i cannot put into words. That heavy feeling of happiness cannot be communicated, written or narrated. I use the word "heavy" because that's exactly how it is, my heart weighs more, my brain is completely engaged, my surrounding dissolves into a dramatic numbness and i am left with this halo around me. As if i am not listening, not spoiling the moment by talking, i am simply observing my breath that is equally heavy but full of liveliness and an indescribable joy. As if i want to breathe-in that happiness and never let it go.

It makes me realize how long its been since i was out there performing, letting those beams from the spot lights glow my skin- making my hair shine and subtly sweating my nose from the heat.  Its been ages since those gleaming lights on-stage and the dark cut outs of the audiences off-stage made me feel i belong here, on this very stage.

The one-month long "Actor Prepares" workshop that i am doing has shaken something inside me bringing me back to the world i love so much, i can almost die for it, i can almost leave everything behind and just walk along this way, i can almost gather courage to live my passion.

But this "almost" most certainly always interferes whenever i want to rebel, i want to go crazy, i want to follow my heart !!!

My heart didn't fly with me !!!

Away from my munchkin for the first time....Don't feel like enjoying this silent peaceful night, i would rather keep missing Ruhaan and stay awake.

This certainly is my first work trip after delivery. I was on a plane today after 8 long months, part of me was excited to go back to the old life, just for one night. However, here i am sitting in a plush hotel really wanting to indulge myself in this temporary peace but my mommy-heart melts and keeps asking for more of Ruhaan's videos, i am bugging Mandar to facetime with me all evening and the best thing i can do right now is blog about this little fellow!

My first time in Philippines but every ounce of me wants to finish business as quick as possible and fly back to my sugar ball. Being a working women is easy but being a working mother is one hell of a challenge.

Let me try to enjoy this cup of coffee by myself (for sure you know that this used to be my all time favorite)...

Life's weird, isn't it?

Cheers to a changed life...

It’s been such an emotional roller coaster but things are kind of settled now. 3 months ago we didn’t have this little toy in our house and now it seems like I have been with him for the longest of time I can ever remember. Yes, all parents talk identical language, love at first sight, your world revolves around the baby, you will be getting familiar to the night world, you won’t have time for anything else blah blah blah. The part about your world revolving around the baby is very true but in a beautiful way. The part about not getting enough time with the husband is not so true. You both are so much into the baby and the family as a whole, you are simply learning to spend time in a different way. And if you have a partner anything similar to mine, rest assure that even if he is not fully awake at 4 am, he will atleast put a hand on your lap while you are feeding and make his best effort to tell you that “I am here if you need anything”. He will be super sleepy at 11 pm and wishing you goodnight with an “I Love You” and a guilty “I have to sleep” expression. After a tiring night you both wake up to the most innocent smile in this world and the two button eyes looking at you which now seems to be a look that recognizes you as a mother and your husband as a father…and the joys of it are inexpressible. 

This little fellow has turned my life upside down but I just count hours before getting home from work. Now I realize why mommies tend to leave there jobs, take a break in their careers and spend time with these innocent tiny things. I keep mumbling rhymes and lullabies, pumping milk has become 'me time', whenever somebody around the house reminds “we are out of milk”, the first thing comes to mind is baby’s milk stock, meeting friends on a very tight schedule, have to change FB profile pic for last 2 months, credit card bills have not been paid, I keep telling everyone I will call you back and it never happens, I have been trying super hard to make time for a daily dose of cardio, an evening with coke in a wine glass and some country music makes me feel genuinely relaxed!!! Ya, its definitely a changed life but somehow it works :) I look at my mickey mouse and everything turns into blisss. I have surely started enjoying this new phase and am looking forward to much more that is coming.

And for Mandar, I just cannot explain how much I enjoy watching him as a Dad. I see him full of love for his little guy and I can’t stop loving that entire father-son dynamics. Muah….