Emotional Downhill !!!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

3 years ago, it was about our new house, purchasing, decorating and setting, which came along with tons of smiles, highlighting the fact that Mandar was all along with me to add another smile to mine.

Last one month has been all about putting adds, calculating, bargaining, negotiating, selling and emptying. Every item i sell, donate or give away has an emotional value or a memory attached to it.

Unscrewing every single screw in the house, emptying every closet, trashing...everything, that too by yourself, HIM being miles away, it is just beyond words. Its a feeling that is emotionally charged up, uncomfortable and distressing, ugly and vexatious.

I walk in the half empty house and i can almost remember it all like a flash back. Every moment is full of confusion if i can fit some more stuff in those 100 pounds i am allowed to take. I almost run to look in the mirror and then realize, oh! the mirror is sold. My eyes cant take sunlight from the bright window and my hands run to close the curtains, all i can do is close them to remember the person who bought the curtains. I eat on the floor and miss my dining table, i sleep on the carpet and miss my bed, i cry by myself and miss Mandar.

Another month till i get to Singapore and every moment is already like centuries.
Till then, i hope to stay calm and get away from this pesky little feeling that is running within.

9 comments:

Anu said...

aww dear............ But few days more :)

Shruti said...

Keep smiling dear... I know it must be difficult to pack your life into 100 lbs... But remember, you'll make lovely memories out there too... A whole new life is waiting for you...
Cheer up, shalya... this mood doesn't suit you...

Kayjee said...

all I can say is shed the baggage, just carry the memories...making a scrap book helped me immensely, oh and that "this too shall pass"!

Prashanti :) said...

I can SO understand how you must be feeling S! It's all the more difficult because you are doing it alone !! hang in there and thnk about all the good times you will have in singapore once you get there :)

Archana Gawde said...

Start thinking about singapore setting up! :) future keeps life rolling. Atleast you should be glad you have to wind up house things, not people! Many people I know have gone through winding up lives :)

Good luck for the transition and I know you will b fine. Cheers

Shalmalee.... said...

Thanks everyone for the support and encouragement! luv u all!

Ramya said...

Time will fly and U will not realize it at all..Enjoy your time here and the ppl close to you...Once i get back, we'll definitely meet up..Till then, bring that smile back !! C'mon,,u can do it .....There you go !!! :))))

abhijit said...

manuuuuuu...
I know its difficult...
but you have to move on...
Lot of good things are waiting for you in future...

Now have a smile on your face!!!

Agnes said...

....don't worry 'bout a thing, every little thing is gonna be alright...