The very nature of human is to mourn about everything he has. Mine is not very different. I am tired of complaining to myself. I usually don't share my worries....doesn't matter how intense they are. I try not to bother anyone else unless its a need.
All this makes me recall Will Smith's movie, Pursuit of Happiness and understand his words/dialogs..."This part, this SMALL part of my life is...Happiness"! Oh ya! you bet if this is not a universal truth. I am getting a feeling that happiness contributes very less in life or is it that we don't want to be happy? We criticize. Small-little things continue to annoy us, irritate us, make us unhappy and we give up the strength to resist this cycle of dissatisfactions. Who knows what would have been the best decision for you...if you don't, nobody does. So its wise to stop the blame game and come a step back to keep up with the fact that you can be happy nonetheless. But but but....thats only my way of thinking. Nobody really wants to take a step back and compromise on his/her sharpened ego. No-one is willing to keep mum and listen. It has begun to become the good old way of my life and its not very uncertain anymore for people to think of me as Ms. NOBODY. Its an unuttered understanding that i am the one to let go things to any extent. My insult, my ego, my self respect, my opinions are very much compromising themselves to please the surrounding. Loosing temper and being rude is not my way of securing my self respect. I have thoroughly felt, applied and experienced the word "Compromise" through different phases of life. I wouldn't say it was equally difficult at all times but i wont accept that it was always easy either. It has built my character a lot but lately its kind of annoying me for not being respected inspite of my age, attitude, qualification and the overall dignity. I feel being taken to be granted very similarly like when i was in 5th or 6th grade. My attitude has changed towards people who were old and are getting older, towards personalities who were young and are getting older, towards people who were short tempered and are getting sarcastic, those who were jealous @ me and are my friends now, those who were just friends and are my best friends lately, those who annoyed me to death but still i call them often and all those who had started terribly and have ended up being just fine.
I think this attitude doesn't help much coz people haven't changed the attitude towards me and haven't really considered me being at a different level from what i was a few years before. To avoid being nobody, its worth while to speak for yourself and be at peace. Looks like thats the only way of being happy for a longer time. Compromising has not given me any returns other than the complains that i do to myself when i am totally frustrated. Its hard to keep everyone happy at the same time. So let them be happy in there own ways and i should find a way to stop giving up the arrogance and insulting times that a few people have given me...World peace is a huge thing and i cant help it all by myself. So let me be a little selfish and think about the small part of my life :))
Huh!! I feel better now!!!
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