3 years ago, it was about our new house, purchasing, decorating and setting, which came along with tons of smiles, highlighting the fact that Mandar was all along with me to add another smile to mine.
Last one month has been all about putting adds, calculating, bargaining, negotiating, selling and emptying. Every item i sell, donate or give away has an emotional value or a memory attached to it.
Unscrewing every single screw in the house, emptying every closet, trashing...everything, that too by yourself, HIM being miles away, it is just beyond words. Its a feeling that is emotionally charged up, uncomfortable and distressing, ugly and vexatious.
I walk in the half empty house and i can almost remember it all like a flash back. Every moment is full of confusion if i can fit some more stuff in those 100 pounds i am allowed to take. I almost run to look in the mirror and then realize, oh! the mirror is sold. My eyes cant take sunlight from the bright window and my hands run to close the curtains, all i can do is close them to remember the person who bought the curtains. I eat on the floor and miss my dining table, i sleep on the carpet and miss my bed, i cry by myself and miss Mandar.
Another month till i get to Singapore and every moment is already like centuries.
Till then, i hope to stay calm and get away from this pesky little feeling that is running within.
2 weeks ago